I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
