The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
