I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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