Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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