i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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