Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
