Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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