Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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