how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
