I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
