wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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