Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
