i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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