if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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