Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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