i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
