Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Randomize
