i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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