Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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