My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
