my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Someone signed my nipple.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
