I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
