But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
