How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
