i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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