Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
