That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
