I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
