Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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