She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
