Will you blow on my dice?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
