Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
