He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
