For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it was like having sex with a tree stump
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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