check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Drunk is not a location!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
