wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
