hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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