This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.