If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.