I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
