We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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