just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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