i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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