I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
