I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Randomize
