You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
