I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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