she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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