So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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