My nipple is on Facebook.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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