Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize