The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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