My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
