she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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