My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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