he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
