Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
