apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
