I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
