Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
