Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
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i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
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Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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