TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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