Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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