He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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